I need a fence around my house. I have this conversation with my husband at least once a week. We built a house in a nice neighborhood but the way our yard is positioned the neighbor behind me can look right into my dining room. Its annoying and sometimes I would like to walk around in my bathrobe. Paying a stupid amount for a fence, that fits within the guidelines of our HOA, is not as important as putting away money for our adoption. But I still talk about the need for a fence every week.
This want for a fence even got so bad that I had a bunch of free estimates done from local fence vendors a few months ago. I was hoping one company would prove the high cost wrong and maybe, by some miraculous act of God, I would pay pennies. But all I have now is free estimates and these companies emailing me and calling me constantly with a new deal or asking if I am finally ready for my dream fence. Basically spam.
Last week my husband was out of the country and I had to take the dog out late at night. It was my fault, I let her eat a piece of cheese right before bed, and I can’t just let her out because “we don’t have a fence.” So I had to take her on a leash and put decent clothes on to not scare the neighbors. Standing in the middle of the yard at midnight, with a dog who can’t decide on which glade of grass to go on, I look up to see a couple standing in the middle of the street staring at me. The lady is wrapped in a blanket and the man has a controlling hand on her shoulder. Everything froze for an entire minute while they cold stared at me from 15 feet away. Then my dog noticed and growled and they started power walking down the street. I am amazed that I didn’t wet my pants.
I ran inside and called the police, because it was such a weird thing at midnight in my small neighborhood. I have no idea if anything came of it, but I was beyond freaked out. I went to bed only to lay there, remembering their cold eyes. and sleep was not even an option at that point. I ended up getting up and checking all the windows 20 times, locks on doors and even garage door to reassure myself. Every time I feel asleep I would wake up to the tiniest of noises and look out the window, half expecting them to be camped out on my lawn.
I talked to my husband the next day – remember he is still in another country – and he reassured me that all would be ok. I told him I was afraid to go to sleep and worried it would be a week before I rested. He told me to not fear because God was protecting us and of course he was praying for us.
I did get sleep and the next day as I was talking to God about the fear I still had over this God reminded me of Psalm 27.
“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war arise against me, yet I will be confident. One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple. For he will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble; he will conceal me under the cover of his tent; he will lift me high upon a rock. …” Psalm 27:1-14
This incident and scripture also reminded me that I can’t let scary things camp out in my life. Just like I was worried about this couple camping out in my non-fenced in yard all night, I have had things that I unnecessarily allow to camp out in my life. Fear of the unknown, fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of the future, finances or family situations and even fear regarding our upcoming adoption and all the things that need to work out for it to happen.
Basically, there is an enemy camp with lots of tents trying to make themselves very comfortable in my head and heart… and sometimes I allow them.
David in Psalms chapter 27 was in a similar situation. He had a physical army attempting to capture and take his life, but I’m sure he also dealt with doubt internally. What he is saying, is even though an entire army was after him, even though he had fear… in God he would be confident. In such a case, in such an extremity or emergency, David would calmly trust in God. He would apprehend no danger, for he had seen that the Lord could deliver him.
So the question to ask is:
- Do I have confidence that the Lord is my stronghold?
- Do I have confidence that even with an army of fear trying to camp out, I will not be afraid because I know God is with me?
- Do I believe God will hide me, protect me and go on my behalf in the midst of the battle?
- Do I allow an army of fear access to my heart and mind?
- Do I need to build a fence around my mind and heart through reading His word, remembering His promises and give everything to Him in prayer again?
Don’t allow the enemy to camp in your yard. Believe that God will protect you in mind, body and spirit. Seek after Him and be confident. Maybe its time to build a fence to keep them out.
30 day challenge – read more in the “hit repeat again” previous blog…
1. Write down a list of things you need to pray for
- This is not a wish list
- Try not to just make them all about you
- Keep the list small and purposeful
2. Spend at least 30 minutes in uninterrupted prayer
- A scheduled time not just throughout the day
- Ideas: 30 minute drive to work, actually getting up early, skipping a tv show, praying before bed
3. Read at least one scripture passage a day
- Pick a book of the Bible and read a passage each day
- Follow our blog for daily scripture
4. And if you fail one day out of 30 –HIT REPEAT AGAIN!