From Julie ~
This summer started dry and hot. Humidity so bad that it was impossible to do my hair, water restrictions placed on homes and lake water levels dangerously low. And then came the rain…
It has literally rained almost everyday in the last month. Not just a few showers here and there but rain drops the size of small elephants and from morning to night it has been like a permanent tropical storm. Farms having to move animals due to water, roads closed to flash flooding and my grass growing at lightening speed.
Isn’t this like our life? We go through desperately dry times needing encouragement, overwhelmed, overworked and feel that all dreams are lost. We walk overburdened, without light and through valleys of dry faith feeling abandoned and without a voice whispering in our ear to hold on to hope. And then comes the rain…
It starts as a trickle and ends in a soaked vengeance and all is green again.
“Grace like rain falls down on me.”
I personally walked through almost 4 years of complete desert. Knowing who my faith and hope was in had to be the only thing thing that kept me going. Times of confusion, doubt and feeling of abandon even when making the right decisions plagued my dreams and haunted my memories clouding them with uncertainty and the lightness in my step was gone. Moments of prayer felt like pleading for God to speak and change the course of my desert. The smile on my face not always completely making it to my heart and my inward voice felt more like a washing machine always on the drain cycle.
Complaining, oh lots of complaining. To God, to my family and to myself. Why was asked at the end of every day as I lay my head down to rest. Sleep abandoned me for a long time and I doubted who I was. I led every decision with a “well we wouldn’t have to make this decision if “this” hadn’t happened.”
I held on to only one thing – a promise I memorized as a child.
“for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6
And at the end of my desert, at the end of my rope and barely hanging on, then came the rain.
It poured over me with a new light I could finally see at the end of the tunnel. It showed up in friends, joy in things I haven’t felt in so long, reassurance from God that I was right where I was supposed to be. Feeling like all the doors I thought where right had slammed on purpose and reassurance that I was in the right place at the right time. Rain poured over me as I worshiped God and my prayers no longer voiced just complaints and needs but joy, hope and praising Him for his protection and faithfulness.
It showed up in my laughter and inner confindence and my ability now to look beyond my own needs and see others who needed some rain as well. It came in trickles and downpours and drenched me with anticipation of what my life is becoming and even steps of next.
Why do I write all about this today? Because I thought about it all this morning as I was asking someone if they needed help with their kids school supplies. Help we will gladly give becuse we have been there. We have already gotten all of our kids school supplies, backpacks and uniforms and it dawned on me that we didn’t need any help this year financially. The past few years we have had wonderful grandmothers and family to help us out as it seems like it costs arms and kidneys now days to send kids off to school. But this year, we had it. Why did this little thought provok my blog? Because I am grateful that I am in a season of rain.
Water brings life and newness to things that are forgotten and old. It creates a spring of thankfulness and an outlook that the world has not been abandoned. It’s the circle of life.
The tropical rain this summer has physically shown me everyday that God has not forsaken me. That He whispers in my ear everyday that He loves me and will take care of me… that I was His protected child even in the dry 4 year desert. It has reminded me that at the end of every storm there is a rainbow.